Ripples

Its been a while since I last posted.
A lot has happened.
A lot has changed.
The best roommate ever, Matt Groomes, has moved out to start a new life in Tallahassee, Florida.
I went on vacation.
My air conditioning at home went out.
My air conditioning at home was repaired several HOT days later.
I lost 23 lbs.
Gained 5 back.
Lost 4 more.
My dad had a stroke. This is the biggest happening. It was life altering. Not just his but everyones'. But isn't that just how life is. Our lives are like a big body of water. Currents and flows underneath but still and smooth on top. But throw something into the it, and you get these ripples. I'm not sure your if you have ever watched these ripple but they keep going. You can eventually see them lapping at the shore. It may not be giant waves, but the ripples are there.
But we Burkes are a strong, close knit family that God brought together and nothing can tear apart. So we all team up and help with his progress in physical, speech and occupational therapy. I watch as I see the vows that my parents took and then renewed in October being lived out again and again. Sickness and health, Good times and bad. And the whole time smiles on their faces because they are together. To see their love for each other. Their caring touches. Their need to have each other in the same room. Makes me, their child, their 35 year, grown man child, feel safe. Always has. Always will. Because that is the foundation that our life was built on. You don't run from hard times. Because we have a Comforter, a Healer, a Provider, a Strength, a Friend, a God that my parents made sure was the center of our family. And now that ripples are occurring, we are not worried. We are not stressed. Because we are HIS. He has given us each other.
I look at the world and see so many "blended families" and see how they fail. How there are "his" and "hers" but we were always just a family. We were all US. OURS. Maybe its the vows we, the "kids",  all took that day so long ago too. And I am so thankful for the life that I was given. I could be a poster child for so many things. But instead I have a story of love conquering all. A story of victory. A story gives me HOPE in knowing that the effects of the stroke will go away!!!
WHY?
Because the day after my dad had his stroke he woke up singing this song:

Look what the Lord has done,
Look what the Lord had done,
HE HEALED MY BODY
HE changed my mind
HE saved me, just in time
Oh I'm going to praise His name
Each day is just the same,
Come on and praise Him
Look what Lord done.

And I know that this ripple that is affecting all of us right now till eventually go back to the smooth calm surface, because it always does.

Questions

What profound thing do I have to say?

What new and interesting thought is in my head that isn’t in yours?

Where am I going that hasn’t been gone?

What song is unsung?

What color unsplashed?

Whose name unmentioned?

Am I to be more than I?

Am I to be satisfied with myself?

Is there more to this life?

Is there more to search for, run after, yearn for?

Is there something in me that is greater than the mundane?

Am as really special?

Is everyone special?

When do dreams stop?

When are you supposed to stop chasing them?

My biggest fear is to be an old man in a home with a list of unanswered questions.

This Boy is on Fire!

Long before Alisha Keys was tearing up the ivory keyboard with her hit song “This Girl is on Fire,” I had a little incident as a kid that, now looking back, is really funny. I would like to share that with you today.

If you know my story at all, you know that for a while my dad was single with 4 kids. He was amazing! And like some ungodly high percentage of kids in the world today; we were “latch key kids.” Also being southern, we were raised DIY’ers!!! That being said, my dad had told my older brothers to start digging a hole in the yard to the side of our house. (In all honesty I think we were either having septic tank cleaned out or something like that.)

I was around 7, that makes Jenny 6ish (depending on the time of year) Randy 10 and Andy 12. (Hopefully I did my math right.) As they dug, the hole got huge! Like VW Beatle huge! To a 7 year old, that is massive. But as you can probably imagine it was also getting late. The sun was setting and darkness was over taking our task! But like most southern boys on the cusp of manhood, we were resourceful. (Please insert pyromaniac here). So Andy and Randy built a fire to continue working. Jenny was inside, I have no idea doing what, and I was being hypnotized by the dancing flames.

As we all know, no southern flame is complete without a little gasoline. Even a 7 year knows that. My dad had a 10 gallon metal gas can that, at the time, came up to my chest. I used all my strength to carry the gas can from the storage shed. I had to literally kick it with my left leg to get it to move at all, in the process spilling gas down the side of the can and on my leg. But I wasn’t that observant back then so I trudged forward with my task to assist my brothers with the chore at hand.

As the two pre-teens continued to shovel away at the dusty dirt, I managed to fill the small metal cap of the gas can with the fuel. I then yelled a warning and tossed the gas on the fire………This where everything switches to slow motion in my mind. Like in the Matrix, I can remember finite details that may have otherwise been lost, but I remember the blue shirt I was wearing. The hum of the air conditioning unit that was over to my left, the amount of dew that was already in the ground. Everything is still very vivid in my mind.

As I stood there, eyes squinted to the heat, brothers dunked at the influx of flames, something magical happen. The fire came alive. It was like a serpent and I was its charmer, only I wasn’t that good. Because as I stood there, out of the wall of fire a snake of flames slithered its way out in mid-air and attached itself to my left shin. Now, he only kissed me for a second and then withdrew, but because I had carried the gas can is such a hazardous way, my leg was drenched in gasoline.

I TOOK OFF!!!

In circles.

Remember, every detail and memory is still fresh in my mind! So we go from the slow motion of the dancing asp to a bat out of hell, almost literally!!! I remember as I lapped my stunned, stammering brothers, screaming. Not making sense, but I remember screaming. I also remember McGruff the Crime Dog telling us to Stop. Drop. And Roll. Let me tell you something, when you are 7 and on fire, you will not listen to McGruff. I COULD NOT STOP! I knew I should, but all rational thought was burned up!! So I ran.

But I have 2 “heroes!” Andy and Randy! Yep! After they figured out exactly what was happening, they figured out a solution.

KNOCK HIM DOWN AND STOMP HIS LEG OUT!

And that is just what they did! So if being on fire wasn’t enough, I now had two guys 3 and 5 years older than me stomping on my seared, 7 year old leg.

By this time my dad had come home and Jenny had somehow informed him that I was on fire and “the boys” were putting me out. My dad came rushing to us finding “the boys” using the hose pipe to cool my leg off. Can I just say, if you ever see someone on fire, please for me, do not pour cold water on them. They will have exposed nerves and that will hurt almost as much as the fire!

My dad scooped me up, carried me inside and, turn a fan on me, same as the water guys. Not a good idea!! But he took off my shoe, surprisingly unharmed by the fire and tried to remove my jeans, but we were now joined as one. It was trip to the hospital. I was given the magical drug morphine. It makes things a little foggy but the details aren’t important. As they cut off my jeans and sock, both were not harmed by the fire, but we found underneath my leg was much different. It looked like a pillar candle that had been burning for several hours. Like wax that runs down the side of the candle and then cools, my skin mirrored that image.

They removed the burned skin, patched me up, and showed my dad how to doctor me and the rest is history. I have a scar, I always will, but I also have a great story that I find hilarious! You know, there is a saying, “what does not kill us makes us stronger.” That is so true. And in those strength building periods we are building character that develops who we are, how we handle things and how we treat people.

Now at the ripe old age of 7, I clearly did not see things as I do now. But as I look back I see that this fire incident marked me. And over the years I have learned many life lessons from this. Like you have to live with the scars of stupid decisions your whole life. But you are wiser for it!

Just getting started

So I finally did it.
For months and maybe years I have been on again, off again contemplating the need for a creative release for the words that float in my head. Having written all through school, but only writing for work, I have years of bottled up opinions, ideas, stories, songs, and so much more.
So here it is!
A place for me to let this overflow.
A place for me to let me be me.
To work out my thoughts on "paper".
To explore more of who I am.
To expose a little more of myself to the world.
To minister.
And oddly enough be ministered to in the process.
So read it like.
I don't know all the rules about blogs.
But this one will be unique, because it is mine.